Welcome to Harmony Hill

Yesterday I did a dumb thing. Moi? Yep. Pretend you are shocked. Even way back 100 years ago when I was dating, my parents taught me to NEVER go up to a guy's place, no matter what he wants to show you -- his art collection, his matchbox cars, his Joe Montana autographed football -- It doesn't matter, always say no and run the other way! Well yesterday I forgot that. You see, there were these 12 little guys with cookies. Keebler was their name. They seemed like a friendly bunch at first, telling me about the family bakery, etc. Then they invited me up. I feigned protest, but they tied me up with fudge strips and dragged me 98% against my will up to their treehouse. The other 2% was the willing part, because to be truthful, I really did want to see what I knew must be a FABULOUS kitchen. And I was curious how those 10 little guys, plus Ma and sister Flo, could produce and distribute millions of cookies, just from that one little tree. I was looking for ideas, like maybe if I never have the money to remodel my kitchen, I could consider that old hollow tree out behind the barn. Shoot, the bees have been manufacturing honey from it for years! It's about time it started producing some chocolate! The elves spoiled me rotten -- I mean who wouldn't want 10 little guys splattered in chocolate giving you the royal treatment? Now there's an idea -- the Keebler Spa...

Ok, well maybe that's not exactly the way it all happened.


Yesterday we were driving in the car to piano lessons. I had an unopened package of Keebler cookies in the car on the seat next to me. No, I didn't buy them -- they were a gift. That makes a big difference! I had the brilliant idea that I should learn to "exercise restraint". Maybe restraint is like faith, it needs to be stretched and exercised to grow stronger, such a profound spiritual truth! I don't know what I was thinking. I even fooled myself! I know what I'm going to do - I'm going to open the package and just leave them lying there open and make myself NOT eat them. I will Exercise Restraint. Notice, I didn't consult God through any of this process -- I was probably subconsciously worried that He might ask me for a cookie and I might have to share.

My kids said "Oh Mom, can we have a cookie?" Sure, as I handed back two for each of them.

See that? I can even TOUCH them and still Exercise Restraint. Wow -- impressive. (What's that verse about pride goeth before destruction???)

I'm not even sure at what point I crossed over into the non-restraint mode -- I can't remember. But before I knew it, I had a little shortbread elf in each hand and one in my mouth. I remember thinking -- just one or two -- it's not like I'd eat the whole package or anything! In a few minutes, I looked over and half the package was gone.

I interrogated my kids. "How many cookies did you guys eat?"

Emi said, "You gave each of us two".

"No, I mean after that -- how many did you take AFTER that?"

Their answer was "None, you didn't give us any".

Hmm, those elves are getting cheap in their old age -- like the 4 lb bags of sugar now instead of 5. They are putting less cookies in each package! The nerve! That ticked me off, so I ate another. Then my phone rang. My caller ID told me it was Ryan K. We had been playing phone tag for the last few days and we REALLY needed to talk about some things for his upcoming wedding, but I had a cookie in each hand and you know where the other one was -- making it impossible to answer the phone.

The thought never occurred to put the cookies down and ANSWER THE PHONE! And besides, my mouth was busy -- it would be rude to answer "Hu-rroh". That's just not polite! The phone stopped ringing. I looked over and the package was empty. I called Ryan back and apologized for being "tied up" (by Keebler Elves).

"Hi Ryan (oink-oink), this is Mrs. Boril (oink-oink) Sorry I couldn't answer when you called (oink) I was in the (oink-oink) middle of something" (More like something was going to the middle of me to make me FATTER!)


Isn't that one of the most horrible disgusting things you have ever heard? I have learned to NEVER exercise restraint again! It's all their fault -- those 12 little elves. I'm going to call them the Keebler Killers from now on. And when you're invited up, don't go, no matter how nice he tells you his kitchen is!!!